I Thought Being Indispensable Was Job Security (Turns Out I Was Just the Bottleneck)
I read an article last week that made me laugh and cringe at the same time.
An entrepreneur wrote about his top engineer.
He’d swooped in to fix a systems failure. Thought he was being helpful. Saving the day.
She looked at him and said: “You know I could have figured that out, right?”
She wasn’t angry. Just... measured.
And in the weeks that followed, her curiosity faded. She stopped raising her hand in meetings.
I read that and immediately saw myself.
The Fixer I Used to Be
I was REALLY good at fixing things.
Client problem? I’d handle it. Associate struggling? I’d step in. Partner uncertain? I’d resolve it.
I thought I was being:
• Efficient (why wait for them to figure it out?)
• Helpful (I can solve this faster than they can)
• Indispensable (they need me)
I thought being indispensable was job security.
Here’s what I didn’t see:
I was the bottleneck.
The Message I Didn’t Mean to Send
Every time I stepped in and fixed something, I was sending a message.
Not the message I THOUGHT I was sending (”I’m here to help”).
The message I was ACTUALLY sending:
“I don’t trust you to handle this.”
And the more I stepped in, the more they stepped back.
My associate would bring me a question.
I’d answer it.
Next time they had a similar question, they’d bring it to me again instead of figuring it out themselves.
Because I’d taught them: “Bring it to Doug. He’ll solve it.”
The Pattern I Created
Here’s what I created without meaning to:
My team learned that:
• Initiative gets interrupted
• Figuring things out gets shortcut
• Raising your hand means watching me solve it
So they stopped:
• Trying things on their own
• Bringing me ideas
• Taking ownership
Not because they weren’t capable.
Because I kept proving they didn’t need to be.
The Moment I Saw It
One of my top people said something in passing that stopped me cold.
We were talking about a case, and I started explaining the approach.
And they said: “Yeah, I know. I was already doing that.”
Wait. What?
They were already solving it. And I’d just... taken over.
I thought: How many times have I done this?
Answer: A LOT.
What I Learned About Skill vs. Confidence
Here’s what I figured out:
There are two reasons someone might not solve a problem:
1. They don’t have the skill
If they genuinely don’t know how, then yes — teach them. Model it. Show them.
2. They have the skill but doubt themselves
This is where I kept screwing up.
They HAD the skill.
They just needed to know I trusted them to use it.
And every time I stepped in and solved it for them, I reinforced the doubt.
I was trying to help. But I was actually making it worse.
The Three-Question Rule That Changed Everything
Now before I step in and fix anything, I ask three questions.
Not because I’m playing games. Because I genuinely want them to figure it out.
Question 1: “What have you tried so far?”
This one question alone returns ownership.
It signals: I expect you to try things before bringing them to me.
Question 2: “What’s stopping you from trying [the obvious next step]?”
Usually the answer is: “Nothing, I guess I could just do that.”
Great. Go do that.
Question 3: “If you were giving advice to someone in your position, what would you tell them?”
By the third question, they usually see the path.
And here’s what’s wild:
The answer they come up with is usually BETTER than what I would have told them.
Because they know details I don’t. They understand nuances I’d miss.
I just needed to get out of their way.
What This Actually Is
This isn’t about being unhelpful.
This is about building capability instead of dependency.
When I solve every problem, I’m:
• Making myself indispensable
• Making my team dependent
• Creating a bottleneck
When I ask questions instead, I’m:
• Building their confidence
• Developing their judgment
• Making myself less necessary
And that second list?
That’s what actually builds a strong team.
The Absurdity I Still Catch Myself In
I still do this sometimes.
Someone brings me a problem.
I feel that familiar pull. The “I can fix this” reflex.
And I catch myself starting to solve it.
Then I stop and ask: “What have you tried so far?”
And watch them realize they already know what to do.
The Real Job Security
I thought being indispensable was job security.
But a firm where everything requires YOU is a firm that can’t function without you.
That’s not security.
That’s a trap.
Real security is building a team that’s so capable they could run things without you.
Not because they don’t value you.
Because you built them to be that good.
What You Can Do
If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself:
This week, try this:
Before you step in and solve the next problem someone brings you, pause.
Ask: “What have you tried so far?”
Then shut up and listen.
You might be surprised at what they already know.
And if they genuinely don’t know, great — THEN you teach them.
But most of the time?
They just needed to know you trusted them to figure it out.